The following are good practice guidelines for Muslim marriages conducted in the UK. This code accommodates both Islamic principles and state laws (English and Welsh). The aim of the code is to safeguard the rights of both spouses.
Pre-Marital Counselling / Coaching
Prospective couples are encouraged to take a proactive approach to building a strong and resilient relationship by engaging in counselling or coaching before marriage.
These sessions can:
- Increase understanding of key topics related to marriage, such as mutual respect, communication, and shared decision-making;
- Create space for open dialogue around potential challenges that may arise during marriage, such as conflict resolution and emotional well-being;
- Support discussions around future expectations, including plans for living arrangements and day-to-day life together.
Informed Consent to Marriage
For a marriage to be valid both Islamically and under UK law, the following conditions must be met:
- Both individuals must give free and informed consent to the marriage, without any form of coercion (including threats, violence, emotional pressure, or manipulation);
- Both parties must have the mental capacity to consent to the marriage; and
- Both individuals must be aged 18 or over.
Any marriage conducted without free and informed consent, where a person lacks mental capacity, or involves someone under the age of 18 is considered a forced marriage, which is a criminal offence in the UK.
Marriage involving a child is also regarded as child abuse under the law.
Clear and Fair Marriage Contracts (Nikah)
Conditions within the Islamic marriage contract must be permissible under both Islamic principles and state law. All conditions should be discussed thoroughly and agreed upon by both parties.
While not an exhaustive list, examples of conditions that may be included are:
- Family roles and expectations regarding children
- Limiting or excluding polygamy
- Financial responsibilities and arrangements
- Support for education and/or career goals
- Employment and working outside the home
- Living arrangements
- The woman’s right to initiate divorce (talaq e-tafweed) without the husband’s or imam’s permission
- Approaches to resolving disputes and conflict
Marriage Gift (Mahr)
The mahr is a marriage gift determined by the bride and payable by the groom.
Islamic tradition allows flexibility in the amount and nature of the gift, which can be tailored to the couple’s personal circumstances and financial position.
The mahr may consist of:
- Gold, money, or jewellery
- Valuable items such as a car or property
- Symbolic gifts, such as a nominal sum (£100) or a Quran
The mahr can be paid at the time of the marriage, deferred to a later date, or waived by the bride.
It is important that the agreed mahr is clearly documented during the marriage ceremony, including whether it has been paid or is outstanding.
Safety in Marriage
Every spouse has the right to feel emotionally and physically safe within marriage. The person conducting the Islamic marriage ceremony should emphasise the values of kindness, respect, and dignity, which are foundational in Islam.
At an appropriate moment, the officiant should also highlight that domestic abuse is strictly prohibited in Islam and is a criminal offence under state law. They should encourage reporting abuse if it occurs and direct individuals to appropriate support services.
Islamic Law and Domestic Abuse
Some individuals attempt to justify abusive behaviour by referencing Qur’an verse 4:34, interpreting it as permission for husbands to beat their wives.
In response, some scholars have suggested this refers only to a so-called “light beating” that does not cause injury.
However, such interpretations ignore the broader Qur’anic message and the Prophetic tradition, both of which strongly emphasise kindness, mercy, and justice within marriage, and prohibit abuse.
Qur’anic and Prophetic Evidence Against Abuse
Islamic sources consistently promote compassion and equity in marital relationships:
- Sunan Abu Dawud (Book 11, Hadith 2139): Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri: “I went to the Apostle of Allah (pbuh) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food as you have for yourself, and clothe them as you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.”
- Tirmidhi: “The most perfect believer is the one whose character is best. And the best among you are those who are best to their wives.”
- Qur’an 30:21: “And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquillity in them; and He has placed between you love and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for those who reflect.”
- Qur’an 4:19: “O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness… Live with them in kindness and equity. Even if you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.”
- Qur’an 2:187: “They are your garments and you are their garments.”
- Qur’an 4:1: “O mankind! Be conscious of your Lord, who created you from a single soul, and from it created its mate… Be mindful of Allah, through whom you make mutual requests, and of the ties of kinship.”
Summary:
- Verse 4:34 has alternative interpretations that do not support violence.
- The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) explicitly advocated against all forms of abuse.
- The core Islamic principles promote dignity, mutual respect, and equity in marriage.
State Law on Domestic Abuse
In England and Wales, any form of abuse or harm against another person is a criminal offence. Domestic abuse can take many forms, including:
- Physical abuse
- Emotional and psychological abuse
- Verbal abuse
- Coercive control
- Economic abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Harassment or stalking
- Technological abuse
- Non-fatal strangulation
- Spiritual abuse (e.g., using religion to exert control)
Domestic abuse not only affects adults but also deeply impacts children. Children who witness domestic abuse are considered victims in their own right under UK law.
Reporting and Support
Victims and survivors of abuse are encouraged to seek help.
Abuse can be reported to the police or accessed through specialist support services, such as:
- Muslim Women’s Network Helpline
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline
0800 999 5786
Sexual Rights in Marriage
It is essential for both spouses to understand their sexual rights within marriage.
Sexual intimacy should always be based on mutual respect, consent, and fulfilment for both partners. Each spouse has the right to express their comfort levels and boundaries.
No one – particularly a wife – should ever be compelled to engage in sexual activity against their will. Consent must be ongoing, mutual, and freely given at all times.
Muslim Marriage Officiants
A reputable and responsible person should be chosen to conduct the Islamic marriage (nikah). This individual must be willing to complete all necessary paperwork and maintain accurate records of the marriages they solemnise.
The officiant should ensure that the following requirements are met:
- The marriage is based on free and informed consent from both parties.
- Both individuals have the mental capacity to consent.
- The legal age and identity of the parties are confirmed using valid photo identification.
- The home address of both parties is verified using appropriate documentation.
- The agreed mahr (marriage gift) is clearly recorded, including whether it has been paid or is due at a later date.
- A guardian (wali) – who may be chosen by the bride – is present, and their legal identity is also verified. (This may not be necessary depending on the beliefs and circumstances of the bride, for example she was married and divorced previously or follows a School of Thoughts which does not require a wali).
- All paperwork is properly completed, with copies provided to both the bride and groom.
- Some form of a register of the marriage is maintained by the officiant for future reference if needed.
- The officiant explains the importance of civil marriage, including the legal rights and protections it offers. In some cases, the civil marriage may be required before the Islamic marriage is performed.
Legal Recognition of the Marriage
In the UK, an Islamic marriage (nikah) conducted on its own is not legally recognised under English and Welsh law.
To obtain full legal rights and protections, couples must also undergo a legal marriage ceremony, either before or after the nikah.
Having a legally recognised marriage ensures that both parties are protected in the event of divorce or separation, particularly in matters such as property, finance, and children.
Note: If an Islamic marriage is conducted and legally registered abroad in accordance with the laws of that country, it may be legally recognised in the UK. Legal advice should be sought in such cases to confirm recognition and protections.